If I Were A Cullen
by Korie.Moore
Summary: What if I or maybe even you were a Cullen? How would an ordinary day be? Rated T for future stories
1. Korie Me!

**Disclamier: **_I do not own Twilight or the Cullen family. But I do own me! :)_

Korie Cullen

"Hey Edward," I said bouncing over to him by the piano. "Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing," He growled. "Now go away before I maul of your little face."

I giggled, "You sure are moody Eddy," I pointed out.

Edward turned to face me as he stood up. I barely came up to his shoulder. "Listen squirt, stay out of my business."

I raised an eyebrow. Like that was ever going to happen. "Are writing that for Bella?" I persisted dancing to the little slip of paper. "What does it say?" I leaned forward to grab it.

Edward snarled and snatched it away quickly. "Again, none of your business. Why don't you and Emmett go plot something evil?"

I shrugged, "M-kay." I skipped up the stairs where Emmett and Rosalie sat on the edge of the bed… doing something you don't want to know about. Trust me. "Ew!" I said wrinkling my nose.

"Korie! Out!" Emmett roared pushing me out.

Rosalie stood to leave. "Not yet," He pleaded.

Rosalie rolled her eyes, "Forget it Emmett, the moments gone."

"But.Almost.And" He pouted.

Rosalie shook her head and went to join Esme and Carlisle for 'dinner'.

Emmett glared angrily at me. "Thanks," he muttered marching back into his room. I cocked my head innocently.

"It's not like you guys don't do it every day…." I trailed off.

"You really are a pest you know that?" He snapped. "Why are you here anyway?"

"Edward sent me," I said than leaned against the wall, "You people sure are moody today."

"I wonder why," Emmett said sarcastically.

"Well, it's not like you can get rid of me." I smirked. "And you thought Alice was bad?" I added.

"Speaking of which, why don't you go ruin her day? I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

"But she'll murder me!" I said appalled. "With make-up and skirts and," – shudder - "dresses!"

"Good point," He nodded dragging me to her room. "See you in Hell little sister." He slammed the door shut leaving me alone. Not completely alone, because Alice had heard the whole thing and was armed and ready.

"Korie!" She yipped. "It's about time. Rosalie _never _lets me do her."

"Help me," I trembled. Where was Bella when I needed her most?

Alice grabbed her bag and dropped it by my feet. "Come on. It'll be fun."

"From whose point of view?" I asked backing up.

Alice laughed. I was really scared now; she had that crazy look in her eye. The one that said 'you-are-so-mine' or better yet 'fresh-meat'. Alice," I stammered still backing up.

"It's to late. I got Jasper to guard the door."

Why would he agree to that?" I cried. "I thought you loved me Jasper!" I yelled in the direction of the door.

"It was either him or you. I reasoned and said you wouldn't be too traumatized,"

I whimpered softly. We were circling her room. Me looking frantically for a way out and Alice with dresses in each hand.

Finally, I noticed the window was cracked. But it was too late Alice had already jumped me.

**A/N:** I don't know why I'm starting another story when I still have all my other ones to update but inspiration hit! This is about if I were part of the Cullen family. It was really just a one-shot thing so if you want me to make a chapter with me just leave it in a review or PM me or something with your personality, if you're a vampire, human, any power etc.


	2. Mimi

**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own….pretty much everything in this story. Including The Cullen family, the Twilight series, Dr. Cox, any music, or Mimi who volunteered to be in my little experiment. Thank you Mimi._

Mimi Cullen

I bounded down the stairs where Edward and Bella were curled up on the couch.

"Hey Eddiepuss," I greeted him. Edward let out a sharp growl.

"Hi Mimi," Bella smiled. Edward's arm tightened around her waist.

"Do you need something Mimi?" Edward asked.

I smiled and shook my head, "I'm just bored." I told him swinging my arms by my side.

"Mmm than go play some music or something," He mumbled.

I nodded and hopped upstairs to Edward's room popping in a CD. Chapel of Love blasted through the speakers shaking the whole house. I hummed along for a while ignoring Edward's shouts about 'figuring out how to turn the volume knob to the left.'

I strolled over to Emmett's room, music still blasting through my ears and knocked on the door. "Emmett?" I called as he opened up the door.

Emmett greeted me eagerly at the door. "Hey Mimi. Bringing the house down?" He asked.

"Yup," I said. "Wanna help?" I asked. Emmett laughed and nodded his head.

"What's the plan?"

I smiled wickedly, "Hip-hop moves." If my calculations were right than Emmett really would bring the house down.

"Now watch out," I warned him, "I'm about to bust some slamming hip-hop moves."

Emmett stepped back and tried his best to keep up with me, but when he tried jumping up and down it shook the house.

I stopped suddenly. "Hey! Someone turned off the music!" I complained.

Emmett's eyes grew wide. "That would be Edward."

"Oh. We should probably run than," I said and shot out of the room bumping into Edward.

"Hi Eddiepuss," I said trying to act casual.

"You're worse than Denis the Menace!" Edward complained.

"And yet you still love me," I said batting my eyelashes.

Edward sighed, "True."

"Can I go now?" I asked.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Fine."

"Great," I grinned and slid past him to Carlisle's office. Today was the day Carlisle worked from home.

"Hey Dr. Cox," I smiled slinking into his office. Carlisle sighed.

"For the last time Mimi I am not going to pretend to be some fictional doctor off of some American comedy series."

"Pretend? Aren't you Dr. Cox?" I asked.

"Mimi," He warned.

"Please," I pouted.

"If I'm Dr. Cox than your J.D and I get to make fun of you," Carlisle smirked.

My face lit up, "Okay!"

Carlisle glared, "I have work to do."

"One line," I pouted.

Carlisle sighed. "'Yay, congratulations, whoopee, all right, see ya'. Happy?"

He asked.

I rolled my eyes, "One more, like you mean it," I pleaded.

Unfortunately for Edward, he involuntarily and unknowingly got to be J.D. as he walked into Carlisle's office.

Carlisle turned to him, "'Do you know what you've just done? You just lost all lap-dog privileges.'"

Edward looked shocked, "'Excuse me?'"

Carlisle continued, "No more walkies, no more treats, no more following me around the hospital."

Edward looked appalled, "'I'm not your lap dog!' Carlisle you're insane!" Edward still bewildered walked out of the room, more confused than before.

"Happy?" Carlisle asked. "I think I scared Edward."

I nodded, "I'll make sure the big men with needles come to get you soon."

"Wait what?"

**A/N: **_Thank you again Mimi for letting me use you as a lab rat. If anyone lese wants me to make them a Cullen just PM me, or leave a review with your name personality, the works._

-Korie


	3. Sarah

**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own the Twilight series, the Cullen family, or my friend Sarah. But I do get to mess with her._

Sarah Cullen

I stretched across the couch absorbed in my book. Okay, so I wasn't actually reading, I was more off into my own little world, but it looked like I was reading. That counted right?

Alice hung above me reading over my shoulder. "You know what really gets on my nerves?" She asked and I awoke from trance.

I looked up to show I was listening. Her pixie face scrunched up and her nose twitched, "When girls wear t-shirts and jeans instead of dressing up even a little."

I glanced down at my clothing. That's exactly what I was wearing. "So?" I mumbled and turned back to my book.

Alice rolled her eyes, "You know what would be fun? A little make-over session," She said her eyes lighting up.

I growled, "Touch me with lip stick and you won't wake up in the morning," I vowed.

Alice backed away, "Sheesh, you never expect the quite ones to be so evil."

I glared and got back to my 'reading'. "Hey Sarah!" Emmett boomed slapping me on the back and almost making me fall off the couch.

I nodded as I scrambled back onto the couch. Emmett laughed. "You're talking my ear off Sarah!"

I glared again and scrunched up nose storming out of the room. Stupid, inconsiderate vampires.

"Hey Edward," I mumbled brushing past him.

Jasper looked at me puzzled, "What's wrong Sarah? Was it Emmett? No it was Alice definitely right? Do you need to go hunt?" He made a face of disgust, "Are choking?" He asked.

"All of these questions are suffocating me!" I cried.

Jasper was quite for a while, "… Maybe you should see someone? And Alice told me to tell you about the t-shirt and jeans thing.."

"Nagging makes me suffocate too!" I snapped pushing past. What does it take for a vampire to be alone?

Edward snagged my arm before I could go any father, "What's wrong Sarah? You're doing that thing where you zone out for ten minutes."

"I want to be alone," I complained. "Haven't you guys ever heard of privacy?"

Edward sighed and hugged me, "Well they don't know that. You never talk and I'm the only one that reads minds," He pointed out. "Not much alone time in this family."

I groaned, "I'm going to go to my room."

Edward nodded, "Don't hurt yourself on the way."

"Thanks," I muttered closing the door behind me.

**A/N: **_This is another get-well thing for my friend Sarah. She's so quite and I remembered once when I was overloading her with questions she cried about how I was suffocating her. I think there's a phobia... fear of question marks? Anyway Sarah Edward hugged you to make you feel better. She broke her hand on a surfboard. She's broken three fingers and a toe all in the month of July! She's talented isn't she? She helped write this a little, giving me some phrases her friends sometimes say to her.  
_

-Korie


	4. Mairead

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters or Mairead. I just totally control they're actions…. Or at least that's what the potato told me**

Mairead Cullen

"Emmeeeeett, Jaaasper," I sang prancing through the halls. "Guess what I got?"

Emmett popped his head out of a door, "Ooooh is it a present? For me? You shouldn't have," He said trying to snatch the slim square box out of my hand.

Jasper sulked out of his room. "It's not Spongebob again is it?" He groaned.

"Nope," I said making the "p" pop. "It's Pirates of the Caribbean!"

"I like pirates!" Emmett said nodding his head.

"Great," I smiled popping the DVD in. "I'll go make some popcorn."

"But we don't eat popcorn," Jasper pointed out.

"I know. I just like throwing pieces at the people I don't like," I smirked watching Edward in my peripheral vision. Torturing Edward was fun!

Jasper shrugged and made himself comfortable on the couch.

Three bowls of popcorn later – most of it was on the floor or in Edward and Rosalie's hair – we were scrambling around the house with inflatable swords (And in Emmett's case a baseball bat. Don't ask).

We were up on the roof doing the one ending scene from the movie – Emmett wanted to fall of the ledge.

"Elizabeth... it would never have worked between us darling. I'm sorry," He said mimicking Jack Sparrow's voice perfectly as he looked at me. Than he turned to Jasper, "Will... nice hat. Friends... This is the day that you will ALWAYS remember as the day that you..." He stumbled back and fell off the roof's ledge.

There was a loud thud as he hit the ground. Edward ran out of the house quickly followed by Bella.

"Oh no, should we get Carlisle?" Bella asked.

Edward picked up a stick and poked him. "No, he's fine. He's just being… Emmett."

"Captain Jack Sparrow," Emmett corrected under his breath.

Edward rolled his eyes and stalked away.

I hopped off the roof landing gracefully next to Emmett. "Where are you going?" Emmett asked.

"I'm going to steal Alice's Porsche and total it into a tree," I told him smugly.

"But you're like what? Fourteen? You're not old enough to drive," He said brushing the dirt off of him.

I rolled my eyes, "And has that ever stopped me before?"

He thought about that, " Good point."

I walked over to the garage singing the James Bond theme as I hid behind trees. There was no sense in doing it but it was fun. Bum bum bum bum bum.

The keys hung up on a hook next to Edward's for his Volvo. I would have to get that next. I snatched the keys, and unable to resist, her credit cards.

I slipped in the car and started the engine. I smirked and hit reverse. This wasn't so bad; it was kind of like a go-kart.

I took my hands off the wheel and reached for a pair of scissors. Why did Alice have scissors in her car?

Snip, snip. Good-bye MasterCard. Good-bye Visa.

I kind of forgot that even though you take your hands off the wheel doesn't make the car stop. So part B of destroy-everything-Alice-loves went through without me even knowing it. And it wasn't a tree. It was more of a werewolf…

It looked like Jacob or Paul or something. Either way, I hopped out and ran quickly back to the house.

When I walked through the living room, I didn't want Edward to know so I started singing Hairspray songs. Plus it annoyed him. Score.

"What gives a girl

Power and punch?

Is it charm, is it poise?

No, it's hairspray!

What gets a gal

Asked out to lunch

Is it brains, is it dough?

No, it's hairspray!

If you take a ride

With no can at your side

Then your flip will be gone

With the wind

But if you spray it and lock it,

You can take off in a rocket

And in outer space

Each hair will be in place

Why take a chance

When you get up and dance

If you twist, I insist

You use hairspray!" I sang dancing around Edward in tight knit circles.

"Can I help you?" Edward asked through clenched teeth.

I shook my head continuing with the song.

"I would ask you what you did, but you're always causing chaos what's the point?" He asked. I knew he wanted to know anyway.

"I shredded Alice's credit cards, totaled her car, and ran over a werewolf," I said breaking from the song.

Edward raised an eyebrow, " I would be mad at you, but since it did involve Alice and werewolf road kill I'll let it pass."

"Thanks Eddy," I giggled jumping out of the way of his lunge.

**A/N: Sorry for the lack of updates, I would say I have an excuse but I don't. I finished Breaking Dawn though, I had to stay up till 6 but it was worth it. And none of my predictions were right. : ( I'm still taking requests but I do have people I still have to do so I may take a while. **


	5. Mackenzie

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series but I DO own Mackenzie. Here that Mackenzie? Muwhahahahaha!!!**

Mackenzie (And Johnnie) Cullen

"Heey Eddie," I cooed swinging myself onto the counter. "Guess what we're going to do today?"

Edward sighed and put away the newspaper. "I don't know, does it involve something with gay guys?" he mused a smile plastered onto his face.

"No of course not! That's Sarah," I rolled my exasperated. "Me an Johnnie are going to rule the world!" This is usually where I thro my hands up in the air and laugh manically. "Y'all shall be our minions."

"Y'all?" Edward giggled – yes giggled, now who's mister manly. "You hang out with Jasper too much and his southern ways. Speaking of which, where's Alice?"

I smirked rubbing my hands together. "Oh she was getting in the way of me and Jasper's relationship. Don't worry she'll be juust fine."

Edward inched away, I think my crazy your-next-Eddie-look was creeping him out. Oh well. "Come on, Johnnie. We have some planning to do."

Edward gaped at the big feline in the kitchen. "Where did that come from?"

I huffed out my chest miffed. "Johnnie remember knuckle head." I rolled my eyes. "And he can be very quiet when he wants to. Isn't that right Johnnie?"

Johnnie bit Edward's ankle – I don't know why he does that, but apparently they taste good – making Edward yelp and run out of the room. "Go get him Johnnie! I have other things to attend to." I ordered clapping my hands.

I stopped by Emmett's room real quick and peered in. He was pretending to be Michael Jackson, again, and was singing Thriller in the mirror. Great, now it was stuck in my head.

"Jasper!" I grinned hopping onto his bed. "Ready for world domination?"

Jasper wiped his hot emo hair out of his face and nodded throwing his arm my shoulder. "W'all will take over the world!"

I looked at him like he was crazy – which he was but since I am too I can't complain. "W'all?"

Jasper nodded. "Yeah like y'all except its we all."

"Oh," I thought about it for a moment. Made sense. "W'all go out to rule the world! Johnnie come on! Leave what's left of Edward's ankle alone!"

Suddenly, out of nowhere mind you, a freaking crown appeared on his head. What kind of lion can do that? Well Johnnie can so nah. "That was weird," Jasper offered looking a little scared.

I hugged him. "Come on y'all! To world domination!"

**A/N: Well I hope y'all liked it! XDD I'm sorry Mackenzie but seriously I couldn't pas it up. And yes, I DO belong in the asylum with Hannibal the Cannibal –watches as Sarah flees from computer- (Fears are fun) thank you for noticing! If there aer any requests send them to me. Also I lost everyone's prior requests so just send them to me again.**

**-Korie, everyone's favorite lunatic author. **


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